MOD MOM: Pre-school doesn’t have to rule

By LISA HURT KOZAROVICH

Just the other day, it seems, teething, sleeping through the night and starting solid foods were the worries consuming me. Two years later and the real pressure is on: to pre-school or not.

At age 2, I didn’t expect so many of Ava’s peers to begin preschool, but that’s just what’s happened this fall. For the past several weeks, all the mommy talk is about preschool — how everyone is adapting, the right age to start preschool, the best schools, the waiting lists.

Ava is fascinated by her friends’ tales of getting to use “real scissors” and envious of their cool new backpacks. When her friend told her he was starting school, Ava’s response was, “You going to school? Whoaaa.”

As for me, well, I’ve avoided leaving the house when school is starting or letting out, simply to avoid hearing Ava’s screeching “There’s a school bus!” every 5 seconds.

Pre-school sounds exciting and fun and I’m sure Ava would enjoy it. But, my husband and I haven’t found any convincing reason for her to begin school just yet.

First of all, I’m fortunate enough to have a flexible, work-from-home schedule, allowing me to spend most of my time with my daughter. We are involved in a very active mom’s group that visits the Science Center, the Zoo, museums, we made pizzas the other day, we visit farms and learn how to plant seeds, we’re going to play soccer and see a play next month. Ava is in classes, like swimming and gymnastics, where she learns to stand in line, wait her turn and listen to the teacher.

She gets plenty of playtime with her friends at the playground or on outings several times a week, and she’s a very independent child who does just fine when mommy’s not around. I stayed home with my mom until kindergarten and the day I started I waved good-bye and never looked back. Anyone that knows Ava can tell you it’s a sure thing she’ll have the same attitude (the “me do myself” attitude is something the girl certainly knows right now.)

Ava knows her ABC’s and recognizes all the letters, as well as her own name, can count to 20 and recognizes numbers 1-10 and is beginning to learn simple math. She knows most of her shapes and colors. We read books and sing songs every day; some days we paint and do crafts. She can follow directions, sit still for story time and solve simple problems.

In other words, what is she going to get out of preschool that she’s not getting at home?

Don’t misunderstand me — I think preschool is a great choice, but it is a choice.

That idea seems lost on many of our friends and family; even mere acquaintances seem to have an opinion. People tend to either become defensive about why they’re sending their children to preschool, warn me that I’m setting my daughter up to fail or just become uncomfortable and change the subject. Most of them just look at me like I’m crazy.

There are many reasons I might have changed my mind about pre-school — if I felt Ava was too clingy, wasn’t reaching developmental milestones, didn’t interact well with other children, didn’t listen to other adults and behave appropriately, for example.

And up until recently, I hadn’t given the subject much thought. I figured Ava would go to pre-school, as is customary. With the time here, though, it just doesn’t sit right with me.

I started considering my alternatives. Why couldn’t I teach her at home? It’s basically what I’ve been doing all along — we name the vegetables and their colors in the grocery store, we put ABC puzzles together on the living room floor, we read books about learning our emotions and play the piano.

So my research into the preschool vs. home school preschool began. What I’ve found makes me comfortable in my decision.

Still, for all the reports and anecdotal evidence in favor or home schooling during the pre-school years, there are just as many others that insist preschool is now a necessary component of educational success.

Fortunately, I’m finally comfortable enough in my motherhood to do what mom’s do best, trust my instincts.

And my instincts say teaching my daughter at home is right for us, for right now.

Lisa Hurt Kozarovich is a freelance journalist and can be reached via e-mail at Lisakozar@hotmail.com.