EXTRA MILERS: Doug Drake a pillar of support for men, women

He started support group for men touched by breast cancer

By CAROL DAWSON

Several months ago, we featured Zak Leffler as an Extra Miler. As is often the case, the person nominating Zak was also an Extra Miler. I would like to introduce you to Doug Drake, a classic Southern Indiana Extra Miler.

We often think of our lives as extremes — good or bad, happy or sad, blessed or living insufficiently. Doug Drake is a man who doesn’t believe our lives have to be sharply outlined.

It is obvious to anyone who meets Doug that he finds a way to weave bad into something positive. He knows life is not a series of logical patterns; instead throwing us a curve ball just when we think we have the angle figured out.

In 1990, Doug lost his mother to breast cancer. He learned lessons from this tragic loss that would serve him well the rest of his life. He and his father were lost when his mother was diagnosed and because they didn’t know what to do; they immersed themselves in their jobs and were not truly part of her team.

There was no guidance or support for men who were supporting women with breast cancer. Not knowing what to do, they remained detached from her journey. Nine years later, Doug would once again hear the dreadful words “breast cancer,” when his beloved wife, Janet, was diagnosed.

He remembers the exact date and his immediate response. Being passive wasn’t an option. Doug knew knowledge equals power and power meant a better chance for a cure. Losing Janet simply wasn’t an option.

Doug became a man on a mission as he researched drugs, accompanied his wife on all trips to the oncologist, learned the daunting medical terms and supported Janet with educated decisions on her treatment program.

Janet joined a women’s breast cancer support group and asked Doug to attend. He wasn’t sure of his welcome, given the sensitive nature of their topic; however, the women encouraged his visits.

Janet’s nurse talked to Doug about starting a support group for men. He was starting graduate school and working more than 60 hours a week in his job … where would he find the time? Allen Schuler and John Loi — both with wives dealing with breast cancer — joined Doug and the Partners In Breast Cancer Survival was born.

About 26 members in the group meet the fourth Tuesday of each month in New Albany from 6:30 to 8 p.m. Charlie Meyer is new to the support group. He found them through a brochure and decided it might help him deal with the shock of his wife’s diagnosis.

“We were really blindsided when Lynda was told she had breast cancer,” Meyer said. “She did everything right and this still happened … we were both hurt deeply.”

Lynda had annual mammograms and was due for her next checkup in 2 months when she found the lump. Charlie immediately saw the benefit of the Support Group.

“Doug is the cornerstone for this important organization,” he said. “He makes all of our lives easier and because of his efforts, I am not alone.”

Lynda is in the middle of chemotherapy and has high hopes that her disease will continue into remission after her treatments. She is in total awe of her husband and the support group men.

“Most of the information you hear about this disease is fear-based and incorrect,” Lynda said. “Doug’s support group helps dispel the paralyzing myths, which is a huge public service.”

Lynda is also very proud of her husband.

“At one low moment, I looked up at him and remarked that I didn’t know how I could ever repay him for all he has been to me during my illness.” Charlie just smiled and said, “Babe, you’ve been prepaid for years,” she said.

In May, Janet and Doug Drake celebrated seven years of remission. When she was asked to describe her husband in one word, she didn’t hesitate with her response, “HEART.”

“Doug wanted to be my partner in this battle. He never doubted the importance of his role in my recovery. He has a loving heart,” she said

Doug is the annual chairperson for the Floyd County Relay for Life. He wants a cure for cancer and is willing to do whatever it takes to see it happen. He points out, “It’s all about giving and sharing to make another person’s life better.”

Doug Drake’s work saves lives — the lives of our mothers, daughters, sisters and friends — and because of this, he is truly an Extra Miler. Thank you, Doug!

Kindness Tip of the Month (from our Extra Miler): The American Cancer Society estimates 8,000 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer in the Southern Indiana/Louisville area in the next year and this isn’t the most frightening statistic.

They predict 1,500 will not survive. Early detection and a commitment to therapy give the best chance for survival. Extra Miler Drake advises: “Do not despair. There is hope. Women with breast cancer need to focus on themselves and their health by keeping a positive attitude and accepting incoming love and support.”

If you know someone who is going through breast cancer treatment or is in remission, pass along this column and let them know there are people who care about their journey and want to lend support and encouragement. The men’s support group can be found on the Internet at: www.partnersinsurvival.com

Carol A. Dawson is a resident of Jeffersonville and owner of EEO GUIDANCE, Inc. If you have seen or been a part of an act of kindness or know an EXTRA MILER, let us know about it. To submit a story or act of kindness, contact Carol via e-mail: Extra.Milers@newsandtribune.com or mail: THE EXTRA MILERS, The Evening News, 221 Spring St. Jeffersonville, IN, 47130-3340.